Choosing who to stand next to you on your big day can be confusing and quite overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be! Read on as we break down the most important things to consider when choosing your bridal tribe.
It’s about quality, not quantity …
Take your time and do not rush to make this decision. You don’t have to choose a friend you’ve known for years – it’s about who you feel closest to at this point in your life. Think about your relationship and who will be around long after the wedding.
Consider the size of your wedding …
When determining how many people will make up your bridal shower, it is so important to consider the size of your wedding. The average wedding reception consists of 5 people on either side. So this is a good starting point for determining how many bridesmaids and groomsmen to have. For a smaller wedding of around 50-60 guests, ideally no more than 4. For a larger wedding of around 160, you could go up to 10-12 if you and your partner really wanted to. Remember that budget comes into play too – the more you have, the more expensive it will be.
Don’t feel obliged to ask someone who asked you …
Be prepared for some hurt feelings. After the excitement of choosing your bridal party subsides, it is time to prepare for some awkward conversations. This may come from someone you can’t take on as a bridesmaid – especially if you were their bridesmaid. In any case, it is important to be prepared. As you do this, remember not to be so hard on yourself – you can’t make everyone happy. Here are some things you can do:
- Have prepared an explanation.
- Express how much you value your friendship and that they are a very important part of your life.
- Avoid saying that you like or feel closer to someone else, even when you do. You can mention their location, a family obligation, or the wedding reception being restricted to adults. Plan what to say so you won’t regret it later.
- Have other honorary positions for those who have not been selected as bridesmaids. Keep your request positive and express that you value their friendship. For example, you could tell them that you want them to be in charge of the reception table after the wedding because they have such a warm and welcoming personality.
Be honest with your expectations …
It is really important to be upfront with your bridal party and the role you want them to play. Would you like your bridal party to be fairly involved in the run-up to your big day? Or do you expect them to have little input and only show up on the wedding day? Determine how much time it takes from them to avoid disappointment.
Reliability is important …
We cannot express how important this is! If you take something away from us, let it be! The best bridal shower is made up of friends who are reliable and responsible. Keep in mind that you will have to rely on them for some pretty large wedding planning tasks. Think of stag and hen parties, speeches, taking care of your expensive rings, and of course, emotional support!
Follow this rule … there are no rules!
Most importantly, you get your favorite people involved! It’s your day so it’s your way! Regardless of gender, women can stand with the groom and men with the bride. When it comes to putting them on, choose again! Just make sure they are comfortable with whatever you plan to wear.
Feeling like you might be having a bridal mansion moment and not sure how to deal with it? You must read this!