For us here at Modern MOH, writing and delivering the maid of honor’s speech is the most sacred duty of all. We believe this is your real time to shine and the best opportunity to show your bestie how much their happiness means to you. By taking the time to write a heartfelt and well-written speech, and then delivering it to the best of your ability, you are helping to make your bride’s wedding day even more perfect.
And while we doubt we were your first stop on the “How do I write a maid of honor speech?” Search train, we hope to be your final destination. You see, unlike most of the articles you’ll find on the topic of Maid of Honor Speeches, we’re going to be giving it to you right away. No vague outline or generally boring examples, just the cold hard facts.
Because we’ve had some serious experience in the toast department, and if we’ve learned one thing about writing a killer maid of honor’s speech, it is this: there is no secret formula, no best way. How could it be? Every relationship between a maid of honor and a bride is different from the next, just as every single memory is unique to you.
After all, we know that the thought of having to give a wedding toast in front of a large group of people can be terrifying for most. That’s why we’re here to teach you a thing or two to help ease those nerves. From start to finish, we have all of the tips and tricks you need to know in order to bring down the house.
How to Write a Maid of Honor speech in 5 easy steps
1. Define your overall goal
Before you start writing your maid of honor speech, you need to first define your goal. In other words, you have to have a goal that you want to achieve. For example, are you hoping to make wedding guests laugh? Scream? Both? Would you like to talk to the bride about your story, how you met the groom, or what your relationship as a couple means to you? Knowing the answers to these questions can help you figure out which direction to go when writing your wedding toast.
If you are having trouble defining your goal, just think about your relationship with the bride and groom. Do you have a great sense of humor? Do you spend most of your time together joking and laughing? If so, try making your toast weird by making some funny jokes. Or maybe you and your bride went through some very serious times together that you want to share. In this case, your speech may be much more emotional. The great thing about this goal is that it is your own, so there is no one doing right or best.
MODERN MOH TIP: Touch a little bit of everything. Start strong with a joke or two and end with a sentimental toast. While there isn’t an exact formula for it, a really good speech from the maid of honor is both funny enough to make wedding guests laugh and moving enough to bring a tear to their eye. Second, don’t spend so much time talking to the bride about your story that you forget to talk about the groom. Even if you don’t have personal memories of your best friend’s new husband, that doesn’t mean he should be left out of your speech. Instead, talk about their relationship as a couple and what it means to you, including your wishes for the bride and groom’s future together.
2. Decide on your point of view
The key to writing a speech as the maid of honor’s murderer is to think of it as a story rather than a speech. And as the teller of this particular story, it is up to you to determine the point of view from which you tell it. It may seem obvious that you would write POV from first person, but there are definitely some benefits to switching it up.
At first, when you’re writing about a third person POV, your toast gets a unique twist and a more story-like feel. For example, instead of saying, “Taylor and I met on the school bus in third grade and she’s been my best friend ever since,” you could say, “When Taylor was in third grade, she met a little girl on the school bus remains her best friend to this day ”.
You like the idea but don’t think you can write a whole speech this way? No problem. Unlike what you were taught in elementary school, you have the freedom to switch between different points of view while telling your story. If you haven’t got it, let’s repeat again: there is no right or wrong in writing Your Speech.
MODERN MOH TIP: Use the advantage of switching perspectives. Start telling the story from the first person point of view, especially if it is easier for you to tell the story between you and the bride this way. When it comes to talking about the couple, tell their story from an outsider’s perspective. If you choose to go this route, you won’t get so insane that you confuse your audience. The point of using different points of view is to enhance, not complicate, your maid of honor’s speech.
3. Determine your must-haves
Now that you’ve defined your goal and decided on your POV, it’s time to determine your must-haves. By must-haves, we mean the anecdotes that you absolutely want to include in your speech to the maid of honor. For example, is there a particularly good memory for the bride that you absolutely want to share with wedding guests? Or maybe you were there when the bride and groom met and you want to share your side of the couple’s story.
As you identify your must-haves before you start writing your toast, don’t forget to tag them. Not to mention, when it comes to getting pen to paper, you won’t get lost. If you’re having trouble narrowing it down, remember: having an epic story or two is much better than a mix of mediocre ones.
MODERN MOH TIP: Don’t be that maid of honor who keeps talking to the bride about memories and “funny” jokes (no wedding guest wants to hear it, trust us). Instead, tell a really good story or two that depict your friendship, then move on to your relationship with the groom and your story as a couple. Too many MOHs make the mistake of making their toast only about them and not enough about the couple whose wedding they are supposed to celebrate. If you want to talk about yourself in front of a large audience, give Youtube a try.
4. Develop your story from start to finish
As we mentioned earlier, the key to writing a speech about a killer maid of honor is to tell her like a story. And just like any good story, you have to develop it from beginning to middle to end (think from “Once upon a time” to “You lived happily ever after”). While it is entirely up to you to decide what will make up the beginning, the middle and the end of your particular story, you should avoid large leaps in time. In other words, do your best to develop it in chronological order so that you don’t confuse wedding guests.
For example: start by telling the story of how you and the bride met, continue with a memory of the bride and groom, and end with a toast for the couple. Again, there is no magic formula when it comes to writing a speech from the maid of honor, but a clear and concise act is strongly recommended.
MODERN MOH TIP: Don’t be predictable. Chances are you and your best friend didn’t crossbreed in an epic way (especially if you’re sisters). So skip the general story “This is how we met”. Instead, dive straight into a fun / wacky / sacred s * $ &! Wait a minute to get the crowd’s attention. And don’t be boring with your finale either. No generic “cheers to the Mr. & Mrs.” Toast, we know you can do better. Your goal should be to get a standing ovation from the couple and their wedding guests, not a polite golf clap.
5. Describe your characters in detail
We can’t stress the importance of this final step when it comes to writing your maid of honor speech. Seriously, the extra step of detailing your characters is what sets boring apart from bombshell. And just so we’re clear, by characters we mean bride and groom and by detail elaboration. For example, instead of saying, “Taylor is such a great friend, she was always there for me whenever I needed her,” you should say, “I’ve never met someone more loving and loyal than Taylor. It really illustrates what it means to be a best friend ”.
These additional enhancements may seem insignificant to you, but they’re exactly the lines that appeal to your audience, and most importantly, the couple. And if writing isn’t your forte, don’t worry. Just speak from the heart, you will be surprised how good your end product turns out.
MODERN MOH TIP: Use a thesaurus (seriously, we do this all the time). This is a great way to spice up your choice of words and keep yourself from repeating yourself. On the flip side, you don’t feel like you have to use a ton of fancy words – you want to sound like yourself, not Shakespeare. Finally, don’t be afraid to throw in a bit of alliteration. It brings character to your writing and makes your toast a lot more memorable (see what we did there?)
How to end a speech from the maid of honor
Now that you’ve established the beginning and middle of your speech, it’s time to work on your end. Since this will be your last moment with the microphone, your goal should be to make it a memorable one.
A quick rule to end a maid of honor speech is to address the bride and groom as a newly married couple and offer your best wishes for a happy marriage. The easiest way to achieve this is with a toast.
As for the content of your toast, it is up to you whether you want to use your own words or rather recite a heartfelt quote. To make a decision, ask yourself the following question:
- Do I feel like I have more to say that wasn’t covered in the main part of the speech?
If the answer is yes, be sure to write down your personal toast. If the answer is no, look for the perfect deal.
MODERN MOH TIP: Pick a few possible endings for your maid of honor speech and do all the test runs to see which flows best. Often times it is easier to decide how to deliver the words than how they sound in your head.